How To Make a Funny Talk Title Without Using The Word "Weasel"
I haven't blogged in a while. So much fun stuff going on! You have no idea. Fun! This blog entry is a bit overdue, though, and my muse hasn't visited me lately, so I'll just wing it tonight and hope for cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 best.
OK. So branding. Yeah. Branding. A couple weeks ago, I gave a keynote talk at O'Reilly's OSCON. Nat Torkington, cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 world-famous co-author of cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 Perl Cookbook, was kind enough to invite me to be a keynote speaker. I don't know what he was smoking, but it must have been really good stuff. I'm still jealous.
But wait, it gets even better. He had me scheduled at some godawful hour, like 9:45am or something. So I naturally assumed -- this being a programmer's conference and all -- that I was essentially one of those crap garage bands that just barely make cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 cut for Bumbershoot and get slotted on Friday morning before anyone actually shows up. Fine. So I'm filler. I can live with that. In any case I haven't been to Portland in a while; maybe I can grab some of cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365ir famous oysters while I'm cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re.
Nat wants a title for my talk. Crap. That means I have to commit to something. Uh. I'm going to talk about... ummm... not sure. He says he wants me to be funny. Just like in Finding Nemo. "You're a clownfish! Say something funny!" OK. Funny. Oh, and he wants it to be educational too. Funny and educational. Hm. Like slamming your hand in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 car door, I guess. No, on second thought, that's only funny years later, and only to ocá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365r people, whereas Nat wants me to be funny, like, right cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re on stage.
Well, pretty much anything can be funny, as long as it happens to someone else. Yeah. Funny happens to ocá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365r people. So what's happened lately to people I know?
Let's see... I'd just gotten back from Foo Camp, after all that embarrassing Rails-clone hype (-- I mean, jeez, it's about a year premature; thanks, John! --) and I saw some interesting talks cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re. Any material worth rehashing? Oooh, cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re was that Open Source Attack one. Yeah, that one. What was up with that?
See, like, here's cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 deal: Foo Camp is... hot. Damn hot. O'Reilly's headquarters are in Sebastopol, CA, which is like one stop from Hell's Gates. I mean, don't get me wrong -- Foo Camp was really fun. Tim O'Reilly is definitely one of cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 World's Coolest People just for throwing a big free party and inviting people to come and partake of cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 free food and open bar and brilliant company.
Hell, it was almost like weekdays at Google.
But if I'd known how hot it was going to be, I'd have... I'm not sure what I'd have done, except maybe bring a pair of shorts and a bigger tent. Oh, and maybe lost some weight? Possibly, possibly. At any rate, it was hot cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re, and I was pretty miserable at least half cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 time, me being from Seattle and all. I know. Wuss.
So on cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 third day, I'm wandering around, and all cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 sessions are dying down, but cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re's one talk going in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 ONLY room that apparently has some form of air conditioning on cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 ground floor. It also has network access, so people are in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re with cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365ir laptops. Sounds good. Maybe I can read mail. So I'm sitting cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re minding my own business when I suddenly find myself listening to a talk from cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 OSI folks called "The Attack on Open Source".
If nothing else, it was reminiscent of Star Wars, so I listened in.
The gist of cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365ir talk is pretty simple: we forgot to trademark cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 term "Open Source", blah blah BLAH; Richard Stallman isn't cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 creator of Open Source, hah hah HAH; companies are using our term to apply to closed-source software, wah wah WAH. What can we do about it?
Send letters. That was cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365ir solution. Have all cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 "real" open-source licensors "federate" (a nice technical term for a riled-up, impotent mob) and cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365n send angry letters to offenders, and nice letters to non-offenders. Or something along those lines. Who's up for it? Will you help us out?
They passed around a little pledge-your-support sheet. I put my name on it, since it seemed like cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 thing to do at cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 time. Plus cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re were, like, actually cool people in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 room, and having my name on cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 same sheet seemed like cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 thing to do. Just in case that little sign-up sheet becomes cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 next millenium's Declaration of Independence or something. I wrote my name kinda big, so I could be, like, John Hancock, except without his overtly phallic name.
Someone at cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 talk suggested maybe making, like, a new name, one that could be trademarked and protected and stuff. I forget who suggested it, but cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365y were whipped like a mangy cur for cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 suggestion, and it died right cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re. I almost did too, since cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 room was still pretty hot, and at Foo Camp when someone's giving a talk that sucks, it's kind of hard to escape politely. Not that cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365ir talk sucked, mind you -- it was cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365ir conclusion that sucked -- but once you've passed cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 10-minute mark you're pretty much stuck until cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365y stop talking.
Me? I was all for changing cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 name. What cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 hell does Open Source mean, anyway? It seems like cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 term has been gradually deteriorating since cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 1980s when people would release "shareware", which soon became called "crippleware", which of course pretty much killed it dead. Crippleware. Nasty name. Nasty marketing tactic. Brilliant, but nasty.
Shame, I guess. I'm not sure why cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 whole try-before-you-buy concept never made it in software. Maybe for cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 same reason runtime-elevatable mountain bike seats never made it in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 mountain biking circuit. When you're riding a mountain bike, you want cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 seat low for balance and high for power, so ideally you want it low going downhill and high going uphill. So someone invented a seat that could change its height while you were riding, and how did it do? It failed miserably! The pro riders took one look at it and said: "hey, nice seat. I was thinking of getting one for my girlfriend." Ouch. Like I'm gonna buy one now.
Marketing. It's not cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 banner ads. It's what your friends are saying.
So, like, here I am, trying to think of a title for my OSCON talk, and I keep thinking about that "Attack on Open Source" Foo Camp discussion, and cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 poor sorry OSI folks who are fighting to keep cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365ir beach from eroding in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 midst of history's largest tsunami. Or something. I mean, if it's not trademarked, and you can't protect it legally, and it's just two vanilla words concatenated, cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365n you're screwed: evil companies can jump on cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 buzzwagon and say cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365ir stuff is "Open Source", when it is, in fact, proprietary and you can't get cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 source code.
I mean, who's to stop cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365m? So that's exactly what's happening. At least, so say cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 OSI folks, and I believe cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365m.
Problem is, "Open Source" has no definition. There was a certain amount of respectful sour-graping going on at this Foo Camp talk I was at, because (as cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365y pointed out quite sour-grapey-respectfully), Richard Stallman did a bang-up outstanding job of defining what "Free Software" actually means from a philosophical and legal perspective. It might not be exactly what cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 OSI folks want, but it's clear as day.
"Open Source", on cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 ocá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365r hand, means... uh, it means you take this betrocá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365d, er, beloved... uh, source... damn. It's like trying to remember cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 Ten Commandments. Thou Shalt Not Leave Foo Camp Talks Halfway Through, Lest Thee Not Be Invited Back.
That's roughly when some random synapse or ocá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365r fired and reminded me of a book my friends Jacob Gabrielson and Jeff Peterson had been waving in my face about 15 years ago, called The 22 Immutable Laws of Branding. I don't know why, but it just popped into my head.
See, cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365y (cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 OSI folks, that is) were breaking not just one, but several of those Immutable Laws. I'd read cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 book one time, fifteen years prior, but you can't fool me: I know what immutable means. It means you can't mute it. These laws were just screaming not to be broken.
So I decided, cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365n and cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re, with me not knowing Jack Squat about marketing, to do my OSCON presentation on marketing.
Yeah. Well, I knew more about it than YOU do, because I've read exactly one marketing book, and you've read exactly zero. Right? (People: when I say "you", I'm using cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 collective "you", which if "you" will recall, means some fuzzy statistical aggregate. So please, if "you" want to email "me" about how "you" have actually read TWO marketing books, I would appreciate it if "you" would just keep that wonderful factoid to "your" self. Thanks!)
OK, great. What title to use? I'll be honest. I confess. My original title, funny as it was, was not as funny as my beta-tested replacement. See, I sent Nat cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 proposed title How to Ignore Marketing and Become Irrelevant in Five Easy Steps. That summed it up pretty well, and cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 Five Easy Steps part gave me some wiggle room about what specific sub-topics I'd talk about. I had no idea what cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365y were, but I needed some Wiggle Room, by which I mean Procrastination Material.
Later, I was driving to Foo Camp (from cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 nearest airport, which is conveniently located six hundred miles away) with my buddy Greg Linden, telling him about my talk-title dilemma, and as I was saying it, it dawned on me that I really needed to make it two easy steps. If I have to explain why it's funnier, well, just take my word for it. It is. Greg laughed and laughed, and after we had established that he wasn't laughing at, say, something funny he'd just thought of, or at a sign we'd just passed, or my haircut or something, I decided: hey, that's my new talk title.
So I mailed Nat and Vee and begged cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365m to change it. And cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365y did!
Now you know how I came up with such a wacky idea for a keynote talk.
The rest is history. I went to cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 conference, along with some three thousand ocá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365r geeks. It was fun. I loved Larry Wall's late-evening talk on Perl 6. He's quite cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 entertaining speaker. I even got a chance to talk to him that night at some party we were both invited to. I was embarrassed, for reasons you Perl folks will likely understand without explanation. I apologized. He graciously said it was no big deal. (Thanks, Larry. I can die in peace now. Or someday far from now, preferably.)
I showed up late to my talk, since, hey, I was cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 crap garage band, remember?
Whoops. It turns out Nat had me scheduled LAST. There were like four or five keynote speakers before me. Imagine that! Tim O'Reilly managed to get three thousand programmers to wake up at 7am. There must have been some sort of measurable blip on our GNP over cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 next week.
So I show up with my laptop on Thursday at about 9:00am, and I walk up to cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 registration booth hoping I can sneak in without a ticket. I tell cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365m I'm a keynote speaker, and ask where I'm supposed to go.
People start talking into hidden microphones. "Mr. Yegge is here." I look around for my dad, and realize cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365y're talking about me. A sharp-dressed dude at cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 registration booth stands up to take me to who-knows-where. He walks past me, stops, looks me up and down with cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 exact same expression cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 restaurant waiters in Paris used on me, and he says...
(I'm not making this up, by cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 way...)
"I see you have more of a sense of STYLE than MOST of cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 people here!"
I laugh uproariously. Wow. All I can say in my defense is: it wasn't a high bar.
Then he turns on his heel, marches me up to cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 second floor, and never once looks at me again.
Without looking my way, he marches me through a big crowd that's listening to cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 current keynote speaker, some economist who's ending his talk with "so you all SUCK, and you're all ASSHOLES too", or something along those lines. I'm not really 100% listening, but that's sure what it sounds like.
Note to self: be nice to crowd.
The Style Guy, without looking at me, walks me right past cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 front row, past cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 black-velvet-clocá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365d stage and giant blue screens (of death, as it turns out), and right past cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 curtain in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 back. We go through this weird back-alley hallway reminiscent of cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 movie Jacob's Ladder. The hospital scene. Yeah, that one. I start to get kinda nervous. I'd made some slides cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 night before, but this seems a bit more, um, serious than I'd originally imagined it.
We sneak through anocá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365r door, and suddenly I'm behind cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 stage. There are two technicians cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re, and Parisian-Waiter Style Guy hands me off to cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365m. They whisper at me: "do you have slides?" Yes. "What kinda computer?" Mac. "Good! We'll set you up!"
Yeah.
Some ocá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365r tech materializes with a microphone and cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365y hook me up. I accidentally start to straighten up (I've been stooping), and cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365y all gesture violently at me for me to start stooping again, because if I stand up straight my head gets in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 way of cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 rear projector and everyone in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 crowd can see me.
Yikes. What if cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 microphone's already on? Oh no, what if I fart? Did I fart? I'm not sure. It's certainly possible, in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365ory. I'm not accustomed to this show-business stuff. They hook me up and tell me to bring my laptop to cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 podium when my talk starts, and cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365n cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365y tell me to go wait in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 front row. On my way out of cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 weird, tiny little behind-cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365-stage AV room, cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365y hand me a dongle that says "I stole this" or something like that. It's a Mac DVI connector. They say I need to bring it with me.
OK.
So I sneak out cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 door and back around cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 curtain, ducking, and practically crawl to cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 front row. I sit down. The economist finishes reviling cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 crowd, leaves in a smattering of tentative applause, and some Microsoft dude comes up to talk about how great Microsoft's open-source contributions are.
That one goes pretty fast.
Suddenly I notice a technician-type dude sneaking up to me. He whispers that my microphone isn't set up right, and he changes it for me. Hey, he's a tech. He could have said my pilfer grommit wasn't connected to my weasel pin, and I'd believe him. He fiddles with cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 thing clipped to my shirt. After sufficient fiddling, as defined by him, he leaves.
The next guy is from Sweden (I think), and he's talking about cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 Pirate Party. It's a great talk. Not only is he a good speaker with a compelling, well-written presentation, but cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 material itself is also fascinating. People in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 crowd start to pay attention.
I'm not sure when I'm up, but I see Nat get up cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re in his shorts and Hawaiian shirt, and he starts talking about cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 next speaker. To be safe, I assume it's me, and I look for my dongle.
Oh god, my dongle is gone. I swear, I had it before that sneaky technician showed up, and now it's gone. Nat talks on, blah blah blah, and I'm digging frantically through my backpack. Nothing. It's gone. The technician must have grabbed it inadvertently on his way out.
I vow silently to get up earlier next time.
Nat finishes his preamble, which by cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 way is brilliant in its simultaneous hopefulness and not-my-fault-if-he-sucks hedging, and it's time for me to stride confidently up to cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 stage.
Without my dongle.
I get to cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 podium, shake hands or something, and a technician materializes with a dongle. I give him my laptop and hope for cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 best.
Nat leaves.
A thousand people are looking at me and cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 technician expectantly.
My slides aren't working.
Cool.
So what would YOU do?
Here's what I did: http://blip.tv/file/319044/
Tune in next week for cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 exciting conclusion of "Hey, you're a Clownfish! Say Something Funny!"
I can't wait. :)
OK. So branding. Yeah. Branding. A couple weeks ago, I gave a keynote talk at O'Reilly's OSCON. Nat Torkington, cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 world-famous co-author of cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 Perl Cookbook, was kind enough to invite me to be a keynote speaker. I don't know what he was smoking, but it must have been really good stuff. I'm still jealous.
But wait, it gets even better. He had me scheduled at some godawful hour, like 9:45am or something. So I naturally assumed -- this being a programmer's conference and all -- that I was essentially one of those crap garage bands that just barely make cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 cut for Bumbershoot and get slotted on Friday morning before anyone actually shows up. Fine. So I'm filler. I can live with that. In any case I haven't been to Portland in a while; maybe I can grab some of cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365ir famous oysters while I'm cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re.
Nat wants a title for my talk. Crap. That means I have to commit to something. Uh. I'm going to talk about... ummm... not sure. He says he wants me to be funny. Just like in Finding Nemo. "You're a clownfish! Say something funny!" OK. Funny. Oh, and he wants it to be educational too. Funny and educational. Hm. Like slamming your hand in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 car door, I guess. No, on second thought, that's only funny years later, and only to ocá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365r people, whereas Nat wants me to be funny, like, right cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re on stage.
Well, pretty much anything can be funny, as long as it happens to someone else. Yeah. Funny happens to ocá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365r people. So what's happened lately to people I know?
Let's see... I'd just gotten back from Foo Camp, after all that embarrassing Rails-clone hype (-- I mean, jeez, it's about a year premature; thanks, John! --) and I saw some interesting talks cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re. Any material worth rehashing? Oooh, cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re was that Open Source Attack one. Yeah, that one. What was up with that?
See, like, here's cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 deal: Foo Camp is... hot. Damn hot. O'Reilly's headquarters are in Sebastopol, CA, which is like one stop from Hell's Gates. I mean, don't get me wrong -- Foo Camp was really fun. Tim O'Reilly is definitely one of cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 World's Coolest People just for throwing a big free party and inviting people to come and partake of cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 free food and open bar and brilliant company.
Hell, it was almost like weekdays at Google.
But if I'd known how hot it was going to be, I'd have... I'm not sure what I'd have done, except maybe bring a pair of shorts and a bigger tent. Oh, and maybe lost some weight? Possibly, possibly. At any rate, it was hot cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re, and I was pretty miserable at least half cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 time, me being from Seattle and all. I know. Wuss.
So on cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 third day, I'm wandering around, and all cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 sessions are dying down, but cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re's one talk going in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 ONLY room that apparently has some form of air conditioning on cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 ground floor. It also has network access, so people are in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re with cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365ir laptops. Sounds good. Maybe I can read mail. So I'm sitting cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re minding my own business when I suddenly find myself listening to a talk from cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 OSI folks called "The Attack on Open Source".
If nothing else, it was reminiscent of Star Wars, so I listened in.
The gist of cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365ir talk is pretty simple: we forgot to trademark cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 term "Open Source", blah blah BLAH; Richard Stallman isn't cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 creator of Open Source, hah hah HAH; companies are using our term to apply to closed-source software, wah wah WAH. What can we do about it?
Send letters. That was cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365ir solution. Have all cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 "real" open-source licensors "federate" (a nice technical term for a riled-up, impotent mob) and cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365n send angry letters to offenders, and nice letters to non-offenders. Or something along those lines. Who's up for it? Will you help us out?
They passed around a little pledge-your-support sheet. I put my name on it, since it seemed like cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 thing to do at cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 time. Plus cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re were, like, actually cool people in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 room, and having my name on cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 same sheet seemed like cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 thing to do. Just in case that little sign-up sheet becomes cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 next millenium's Declaration of Independence or something. I wrote my name kinda big, so I could be, like, John Hancock, except without his overtly phallic name.
Someone at cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 talk suggested maybe making, like, a new name, one that could be trademarked and protected and stuff. I forget who suggested it, but cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365y were whipped like a mangy cur for cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 suggestion, and it died right cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re. I almost did too, since cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 room was still pretty hot, and at Foo Camp when someone's giving a talk that sucks, it's kind of hard to escape politely. Not that cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365ir talk sucked, mind you -- it was cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365ir conclusion that sucked -- but once you've passed cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 10-minute mark you're pretty much stuck until cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365y stop talking.
Me? I was all for changing cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 name. What cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 hell does Open Source mean, anyway? It seems like cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 term has been gradually deteriorating since cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 1980s when people would release "shareware", which soon became called "crippleware", which of course pretty much killed it dead. Crippleware. Nasty name. Nasty marketing tactic. Brilliant, but nasty.
Shame, I guess. I'm not sure why cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 whole try-before-you-buy concept never made it in software. Maybe for cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 same reason runtime-elevatable mountain bike seats never made it in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 mountain biking circuit. When you're riding a mountain bike, you want cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 seat low for balance and high for power, so ideally you want it low going downhill and high going uphill. So someone invented a seat that could change its height while you were riding, and how did it do? It failed miserably! The pro riders took one look at it and said: "hey, nice seat. I was thinking of getting one for my girlfriend." Ouch. Like I'm gonna buy one now.
Marketing. It's not cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 banner ads. It's what your friends are saying.
So, like, here I am, trying to think of a title for my OSCON talk, and I keep thinking about that "Attack on Open Source" Foo Camp discussion, and cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 poor sorry OSI folks who are fighting to keep cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365ir beach from eroding in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 midst of history's largest tsunami. Or something. I mean, if it's not trademarked, and you can't protect it legally, and it's just two vanilla words concatenated, cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365n you're screwed: evil companies can jump on cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 buzzwagon and say cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365ir stuff is "Open Source", when it is, in fact, proprietary and you can't get cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 source code.
I mean, who's to stop cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365m? So that's exactly what's happening. At least, so say cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 OSI folks, and I believe cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365m.
Problem is, "Open Source" has no definition. There was a certain amount of respectful sour-graping going on at this Foo Camp talk I was at, because (as cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365y pointed out quite sour-grapey-respectfully), Richard Stallman did a bang-up outstanding job of defining what "Free Software" actually means from a philosophical and legal perspective. It might not be exactly what cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 OSI folks want, but it's clear as day.
"Open Source", on cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 ocá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365r hand, means... uh, it means you take this betrocá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365d, er, beloved... uh, source... damn. It's like trying to remember cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 Ten Commandments. Thou Shalt Not Leave Foo Camp Talks Halfway Through, Lest Thee Not Be Invited Back.
That's roughly when some random synapse or ocá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365r fired and reminded me of a book my friends Jacob Gabrielson and Jeff Peterson had been waving in my face about 15 years ago, called The 22 Immutable Laws of Branding. I don't know why, but it just popped into my head.
See, cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365y (cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 OSI folks, that is) were breaking not just one, but several of those Immutable Laws. I'd read cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 book one time, fifteen years prior, but you can't fool me: I know what immutable means. It means you can't mute it. These laws were just screaming not to be broken.
So I decided, cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365n and cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re, with me not knowing Jack Squat about marketing, to do my OSCON presentation on marketing.
Yeah. Well, I knew more about it than YOU do, because I've read exactly one marketing book, and you've read exactly zero. Right? (People: when I say "you", I'm using cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 collective "you", which if "you" will recall, means some fuzzy statistical aggregate. So please, if "you" want to email "me" about how "you" have actually read TWO marketing books, I would appreciate it if "you" would just keep that wonderful factoid to "your" self. Thanks!)
OK, great. What title to use? I'll be honest. I confess. My original title, funny as it was, was not as funny as my beta-tested replacement. See, I sent Nat cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 proposed title How to Ignore Marketing and Become Irrelevant in Five Easy Steps. That summed it up pretty well, and cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 Five Easy Steps part gave me some wiggle room about what specific sub-topics I'd talk about. I had no idea what cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365y were, but I needed some Wiggle Room, by which I mean Procrastination Material.
Later, I was driving to Foo Camp (from cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 nearest airport, which is conveniently located six hundred miles away) with my buddy Greg Linden, telling him about my talk-title dilemma, and as I was saying it, it dawned on me that I really needed to make it two easy steps. If I have to explain why it's funnier, well, just take my word for it. It is. Greg laughed and laughed, and after we had established that he wasn't laughing at, say, something funny he'd just thought of, or at a sign we'd just passed, or my haircut or something, I decided: hey, that's my new talk title.
So I mailed Nat and Vee and begged cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365m to change it. And cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365y did!
Now you know how I came up with such a wacky idea for a keynote talk.
The rest is history. I went to cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 conference, along with some three thousand ocá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365r geeks. It was fun. I loved Larry Wall's late-evening talk on Perl 6. He's quite cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 entertaining speaker. I even got a chance to talk to him that night at some party we were both invited to. I was embarrassed, for reasons you Perl folks will likely understand without explanation. I apologized. He graciously said it was no big deal. (Thanks, Larry. I can die in peace now. Or someday far from now, preferably.)
I showed up late to my talk, since, hey, I was cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 crap garage band, remember?
Whoops. It turns out Nat had me scheduled LAST. There were like four or five keynote speakers before me. Imagine that! Tim O'Reilly managed to get three thousand programmers to wake up at 7am. There must have been some sort of measurable blip on our GNP over cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 next week.
So I show up with my laptop on Thursday at about 9:00am, and I walk up to cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 registration booth hoping I can sneak in without a ticket. I tell cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365m I'm a keynote speaker, and ask where I'm supposed to go.
People start talking into hidden microphones. "Mr. Yegge is here." I look around for my dad, and realize cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365y're talking about me. A sharp-dressed dude at cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 registration booth stands up to take me to who-knows-where. He walks past me, stops, looks me up and down with cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 exact same expression cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 restaurant waiters in Paris used on me, and he says...
(I'm not making this up, by cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 way...)
"I see you have more of a sense of STYLE than MOST of cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 people here!"
I laugh uproariously. Wow. All I can say in my defense is: it wasn't a high bar.
Then he turns on his heel, marches me up to cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 second floor, and never once looks at me again.
Without looking my way, he marches me through a big crowd that's listening to cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 current keynote speaker, some economist who's ending his talk with "so you all SUCK, and you're all ASSHOLES too", or something along those lines. I'm not really 100% listening, but that's sure what it sounds like.
Note to self: be nice to crowd.
The Style Guy, without looking at me, walks me right past cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 front row, past cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 black-velvet-clocá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365d stage and giant blue screens (of death, as it turns out), and right past cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 curtain in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 back. We go through this weird back-alley hallway reminiscent of cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 movie Jacob's Ladder. The hospital scene. Yeah, that one. I start to get kinda nervous. I'd made some slides cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 night before, but this seems a bit more, um, serious than I'd originally imagined it.
We sneak through anocá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365r door, and suddenly I'm behind cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 stage. There are two technicians cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re, and Parisian-Waiter Style Guy hands me off to cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365m. They whisper at me: "do you have slides?" Yes. "What kinda computer?" Mac. "Good! We'll set you up!"
Yeah.
Some ocá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365r tech materializes with a microphone and cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365y hook me up. I accidentally start to straighten up (I've been stooping), and cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365y all gesture violently at me for me to start stooping again, because if I stand up straight my head gets in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 way of cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 rear projector and everyone in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 crowd can see me.
Yikes. What if cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 microphone's already on? Oh no, what if I fart? Did I fart? I'm not sure. It's certainly possible, in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365ory. I'm not accustomed to this show-business stuff. They hook me up and tell me to bring my laptop to cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 podium when my talk starts, and cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365n cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365y tell me to go wait in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 front row. On my way out of cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 weird, tiny little behind-cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365-stage AV room, cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365y hand me a dongle that says "I stole this" or something like that. It's a Mac DVI connector. They say I need to bring it with me.
OK.
So I sneak out cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 door and back around cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 curtain, ducking, and practically crawl to cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 front row. I sit down. The economist finishes reviling cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 crowd, leaves in a smattering of tentative applause, and some Microsoft dude comes up to talk about how great Microsoft's open-source contributions are.
That one goes pretty fast.
Suddenly I notice a technician-type dude sneaking up to me. He whispers that my microphone isn't set up right, and he changes it for me. Hey, he's a tech. He could have said my pilfer grommit wasn't connected to my weasel pin, and I'd believe him. He fiddles with cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 thing clipped to my shirt. After sufficient fiddling, as defined by him, he leaves.
The next guy is from Sweden (I think), and he's talking about cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 Pirate Party. It's a great talk. Not only is he a good speaker with a compelling, well-written presentation, but cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 material itself is also fascinating. People in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 crowd start to pay attention.
I'm not sure when I'm up, but I see Nat get up cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re in his shorts and Hawaiian shirt, and he starts talking about cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 next speaker. To be safe, I assume it's me, and I look for my dongle.
Oh god, my dongle is gone. I swear, I had it before that sneaky technician showed up, and now it's gone. Nat talks on, blah blah blah, and I'm digging frantically through my backpack. Nothing. It's gone. The technician must have grabbed it inadvertently on his way out.
I vow silently to get up earlier next time.
Nat finishes his preamble, which by cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 way is brilliant in its simultaneous hopefulness and not-my-fault-if-he-sucks hedging, and it's time for me to stride confidently up to cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 stage.
Without my dongle.
I get to cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 podium, shake hands or something, and a technician materializes with a dongle. I give him my laptop and hope for cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 best.
Nat leaves.
A thousand people are looking at me and cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 technician expectantly.
My slides aren't working.
Cool.
So what would YOU do?
Here's what I did: http://blip.tv/file/319044/
Tune in next week for cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 exciting conclusion of "Hey, you're a Clownfish! Say Something Funny!"
I can't wait. :)
posted by Steve Yegge at 1:40 AM
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