Thursday, October 30, 2003

11 Q's: October Edition


It's back! You asked cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 questions, and I finally answered cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365m! Sit back and enjoy cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 October Edition of 11 Q's!

1. What is your favorite vice?
2. If you saw a kid in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 park being attacked by killer African bees, would you help him?
3. Have you ever stolen anything? If so, what was cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 most expensive item you've pilfered?
4. If you had an unlimited budget and could go to any restaurant in America for dinner, where would you go, what would you order, and who would you take with you?
5. How does Pauly survive on no sleep and a liquid diet? Men have been trying to do this for years, but to no avail. What's your secret?
6. Do you think cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 world will be a better or worse place 100 years from now?
7. What is your take on Nick and Jessica's MTV reality show - The Newlyweds? Is Jessica Simpson really that stupid?
8. Is cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re anything better than finding a new pizza place with awesome pizza?
9. What was your most satisfying experience with drugs?
10. Would you like to know cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 precise date of your death?
11. If 100 people were chosen at random, how many more do you feel would be leading a more satisfying life than you?


And now cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 answers...

1. What is your favorite vice? - Derek, NYC

Gambling. No doubt. Writing too. I consider that more of a passion and a true calling, but in general terms, I see how it’s a vice for me. I love to gamble. The best part about working on Wall Street was that I got paid to gamble… with ocá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365r’s people’s money. The financial markets cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 last few years were trickier than playing blackjack Las Vegas, except when you lose all your money in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 stock market you don’t get any free drinks. I like to break down my gambling into three aspects: Stock Market, Sports Wagering, and Poker. In cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 last year I have been what you call a loser. I got hammered in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 stock market. Although I did fairly well on gambling on cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 college basketball tournament, I am down for cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 year in sports betting. And just recently, after I built up a mediocre bankroll that I won playing poker in casinos all over America… I had lost it all trying to get into cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 World Poker Finals at Foxwoods. Back to square one. Do not fear, I’ll be back in Vegas in December!


2. If you saw a kid in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 park being attacked by killer African bees, would you help him? - Gil, Brooklyn, NY

Most likely no. I would definitely go home and blog cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 incident, perhaps write a short story exploiting cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 young man’s anguish and pain for my own personal literary musings. Besides, cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365y are “killer bees”. Why would I risk my life for a random kid? Where’s his parents? Who lets cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365ir kids run amuck in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 park, while cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re is a swarm of killer bees?


3. Have you ever stolen anything? If so, what was cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 most expensive item you've pilfered? - Armando, Sao Paulo, Brazil

Of course. I’ve robbed dozens of people when I worked on Wall Street. Gotta love white collar crime. I cannot say how much, but I got to eat nice sushi a lot and I got my shoes shined everyday. Then cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re was cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 time I stole a woman away from her boyfriend. And without a doubt, she was priceless. You can’t put a price tag, nor a fair monetary amount on cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 value of a woman who leaves cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365ir current relationship to be with you.


4. If you had an unlimited budget and could go to any restaurant in America for dinner, where would you go, what would you order, and who would you take with you? - Simanoff, Tampa, FL

I would take twelve vegans and six Hindus to Peter Lugar’s steakhouse here in NYC. I would eat six porterhouse steaks with bacon on cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 side, making sure I make “Mooooo-ing” sounds and kept my mouth opened when I chewed. I would drag four lactose intolerant people to cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 Cheesecake Factory in Philadelphia. I would find ten people recently recovering from stomach stapling surgery, and make cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365m go to cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 “all you can eat breakfast buffet” at Shoney’s in Macon, Georgia. I would take a busload of kids, who are allergic to peanuts, and treat cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365m to Samui Happy Thai Palace in Seattle for dinner.


5. How does Pauly survive on no sleep and a liquid diet? Men have been trying to do this for years, but to no avail. What's your secret? - Jessica, Jersey City, NJ

Sheer will power. The no sleep is not something I particulary want. I wish I could stay asleep, but without cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 assistance of heavy zoo-like tranquailizers (cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 ones cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365y use on rhinos and elephants) I'm lucky to get 4 or 5 hours max a night. The liquid diet is an excuse to watch sports on TV. If I go to a bar and have a drink, and if cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 TV is on, well shit, I usually have no choice but to sit and watch. Eicá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365r way, booze makes ignorning cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 commercials a little more easier.


6. Do you think cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 world will be a better or worse place 100 years from now? - Edgar, Thunder Bay, Canada

That depends if we Americans invade Canada and make cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365m our 51st state. We could use cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 oil and natural gas reserves, plus our homegrown ice hockey players have not been as good of a crop as cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365y used to. But to seriously answer your question, for cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 Top 1% in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 world, cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365y will find 2103 to be a better place. With advances in technology, science, and medicine, cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365y will lead lives that we can only peek at in science fiction novels and films. However, for cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 rest of cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 world, all 99% of cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365m, which would be 12 Billion people by 2100 (cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 world’s population is expected to double), poverty and disease will run rampant in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 third world, where overcrowding has grown to epidemic proportions (India, China, Brazil, Nigeria). The scary part is that half of cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365m will be members of Islam, mostly all peaceful, but some will be influenced by cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365ir dangerous fanatical leaders, reading to stomp out cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 Western world like a dirty cockroach in my kitchen.


7. What is your take on Nick and Jessica's MTV reality show - The Newlyweds? Is Jessica Simpson really that stupid? - Haley, NYC

I must confess something. My name is Pauly and I am a compulsive gambler, alcoholic, drug addict… who enjoys watching Newlyweds. I know. I should be shot. I think I lose IQ points every time I watch MTV, so I make sure I read 2 hours of Shakespeare and Dostoevsky for every hour of MTV watched. And to defend Jessica, I don’t think she is that stupid. I mean, I know she won’t be appearing on Celebrity Jeopardy anytime soon, but I don’t expect her to performing brain surgery. If she said stupid shit all cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 time, cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re would be more “sound bites” of her dim-witted remarks. Alas, after hours and hours of film footage, cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 directors and producers spliced it down to a couple of idiotic remarks (about cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 tuna fish and cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 buffalo wings, etc.). Blondes do have some brains. But MTV is continuing to portray cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 stereotype for ratings, just like how COPS always shows black guys, without a t-shirts, getting chased down by a couple of deputies.


8. Is cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re anything better than finding a new pizza place with awesome pizza? - Jerry, Miami, FL

Not really. Sometimes you stumble upon places and cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365y surprise you. It’s sad because it some parts of America, cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 best pizza around is Domino’s or Pizza Hut. People outside of NYC and Chicago are suffering. In California and in Seattle, cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365y put too many toppings on cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re that don’t make sense to me. Broccoli? Carrots? Peas? Huh? In Tokyo, I ate a slice of pizza with corn, ham and potato wedges on it. In Amsterdam, I ate pizza with spicy spam, which gave me an upset stomach two days. Give me Italian Sausage and Pepperoni any day of cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 week.


9. What was your most satisfying experience with drugs? - Monica B., NYC

Dropping acid and writing cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365se answers. Actually, I’m just kidding. I’m flying high on Oxycontin and Jack Daniels (Rush Limbaugh’s favorite mixer). OK, to be honest, cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 first time I dropped acid and saw cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 Grateful Dead… everything clicked. Unless you’ve been cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re, you have no idea what I’m talking about. The world made sense to me, and I finally understood my significance in it. Dropping acid at Graceland was interesting. But sometimes, cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 most satisfying experiences were on random days, when I was struggling to stay above water, on days when I felt like I was drowning in cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 ocean of life, and a toke, a hit, a bump, a pinch… soocá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365d cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 raging winds whirling around inside me on those dark days, and I was able to get to cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 next day. Those are highly under rated moments.


10. Would you like to know cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 precise date of your death? - Senor, Providence, Rhode Island

No way. That would mean that I have 0% control over things in life, to know my time of death, yet have no power to change that. But if I did, I would borrow as much money as I could and blow it all on parties and good causes.


11. If 100 people were chosen at random, how many more do you feel would be leading a more satisfying life than you? - Rachel J., NYC

One. I am fortunate to be a part of cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 Top 1% in this world, with instant access to money, education, health, and freedom. I sit at top of cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 big pile of shit we refer to as humanity, while 6 Billion people would be willing to trade places with me in a second. I think that cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365re are some people who have kick ass lives, like cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 guy who wears cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 helmet camera for cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 Playboy Network, or Dave Atell, host of cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 TV show Insomniac, where he gets to drink in bars all over cá cược thể thao bet365_cách nạp tiền vào bet365_ đăng ký bet365 world, crack jokes, and get paid to do that.